Heather Barbour Fenty

At Ongig, we like to mix the serious task of writing inclusive job descriptions with a little light-heartedness. So here are 15 funny HR quotes to brighten your day (and your human resources department). Enjoy!

15 Funny HR quotes (from actors, authors, presidents & more)

1. “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

    – Drew Carey, American Actor

    2. “There’s an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job.”

    – Peter Drucker, Austrian-American educator

    3. “Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it half-assed. That’s the American way.”

    – Homer Simpson, cartoon character

    4. “Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss’s job.”

    – Francis Young, Author

    5. “I’m not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues.”

    – Franklin D. Roosevelt, 32nd US President

    6. “I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”

    – Bill Gates, American business magnate

    7. “Human resources are like natural resources; they’re often buried deep. You have to go looking for them; they’re not just lying around on the surface. You have to create the circumstances where they show themselves.”

    – Ken Robinson, British author

    8. “Don’t expect me to be sane. I work in HR.”

    – unknown 

    9. “I’m HR. To save time let’s just assume I’m never wrong.”

    – unknown 

    10. “Nothing surprises me. I work in HR.”

    – unknown 

    11. “Yes. Doing your job is part of the job.”

    – unknown 

    12. “I’m looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.”

    – unknown 

    13. “You can’t spell “HERO” without “HR”.”

    – unknown 

    14. “HR just told me that yelling “I don’t want to play anymore!” is not the proper way to exit a meeting.”

    – unknown 

    15. “If at first you don’t succeed, try doing what HR told you to do the first time.”

    – unknown 

    If you like the funny HR quotes above, you might also enjoy our post 50 Funny HR Memes [Budget, Resumes, CEOs, Payroll+].

    Do You Have Any Favorite Funny HR Quotes?

    This is a dynamic list, and I want to keep adding. If I missed any of your favorite funny HR quotes, email Heather@ongig.com to get them added to the list.

    Why I Wrote This?

    Ongig’s mission is to eliminate boring and biased job descriptions. Our software analyzes your job descriptions to support your HR team’s hiring efforts.

    Shout-outs:

    1. 48 Funny and Inspirational Workplace Quotes (by Alexa Gavrielatos)
    2. Funny HR Quotes of the Day (by Travel Quotes Zone)
    3. 100 HR Quotes To Uplift And Motivate HR Professionals (by Bhaswati Roy)

    by in HR Content